I’m not perfect and I’m OK with that! How to accept what is…

It’s been a while since I checked in. My newest daughter Rosie at 8.5 months has kept me busy, alongside her sister Ava. Well, she does cry every time I put her down and she didn’t come with instructions – my mum is on the other side so advice is a little scarce sometimes. In fact parenthood didn’t come with an instruction manual and I do wonder whether I’ve got it ‘right’. Then after talking to quite a lot of other parents they are all thinking the same thing – that parenthood is not easy and why didn’t anyone tell them the whole story? They love their kids and its rewarding and amazing, but some of the time its pretty hard going! One friend Val says “ I’m a bad mom and I’m OK with it.” An honest statement, which I thought, was noteworthy of a blog article title! She is not a bad mom, but she’s just acknowledging she accepts that she is way from ‘flawless’.
The point I want to make is that many of us spend time trying to be ‘perfect’, or getting to ‘perfect’. I turned 40 recently (yes I know I only look 32! So kind!) And it’s been a time of real reflection. I have four books on the go, 3 finished and going through the publishing phase so I feel somewhere my legacy/ my mortality has been registered. There is something refreshing about being 40. I spent so many years worrying what other people thought and trying to get approval through achievement of status, wealth & knowledge. The arrival of two lovely daughters has brought the question of ‘What is it all about?’ a bit closer as they bring you kicking and screaming (screaming primarily!) into the moment most of the time you are with them.
So from now on, I’ll spend more time listening to the birds, I’ll re-start my yoga, Pilates and meditation. I’ll spend more time in silence where the eternal answers come. In fact I was doing a yoga session when the gist of this article popped into my head so I grabbed my Mac (Rosie was miraculously sleeping – rare these days) and started writing! I’ve been listening to a lot of Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson and they talk about being in the morning and afternoon of your life (a concept they gleaned from Carl Jung). Morning being full of young, ambitious spirit where you focus on accumulating accolades, wealth, status, a partner. Whereas in the afternoon of your life, you contemplate a little more, you focus on meaning and have you achieved what you came here to do, family and love become much more important than working, the material world and the good opinion of others.
I am enjoying the afternoon of my life (although sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have children in the morning part – on the bonus side I like to think I can pass on the wisdom I’ve gained through my ‘mistakes’ or ‘learning’s’ as I like to call them). I’m learning that wanting ‘perfect’ all the time leads to stress, leads to unrealistic expectations, leads to not ‘being’. I’m surrendering to where I need to be now, to not worry so much about my future but to embrace what ‘is’. That doesn’t mean I don’t have goals or dreams or think about the future at all, I just trust more that whatever needs to take place or whomever I need to meet, will happen and I will take the action necessary to move forward.
My questions to you are; are you in the afternoon or morning of your life? What is driving you? And wherever you are, are you still striving and stressing for ‘perfect’ or have you surrendered into the arms of ‘ideal’ and ‘accepting what is?”
Have a groovy one!

Amanda

Now over 40! Wahey! Taking precious time with my lovely family ; )